


Dearest Diary

by Kalcifer



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, King Mettaton, Mostly just Mettaton, Post-Neutral Route (Undertale), Spoilers - Neutral Route, Well they're mentioned, You'll never guess who my favorite character is, diaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5717494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalcifer/pseuds/Kalcifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mettaton never wanted to be King, but who is he to deny his fans?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone save me from the fashion robot. I can't even get his character down, and yet here I am.

Dear diary:

It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm afraid I got caught up in my duties as the Underground's number one star, but the last few days have been positively hectic and I just had to tell you about it.

You see, I've been made King! After Asgore's unfortunate death, the monsters turned to me. I told them that I was just a humble entertainer, but it seems that they already recognize my inherent splendor. How could I deny my fans?

... I know I wouldn't have been their first choice. But the Queen's still missing, and Undyne...

Well. No point in dwelling on the past. From now on, the Underground is going to be a lot more fabulous!


	2. Chapter 2

My beloved diary:

Things are really looking up for the monsters! At first, everyone was still upset about the deaths of the King and the Captain of the Royal Guard, not to mention the loss of the human souls.

Then I had a brilliant idea. To cheer everyone up, I'm going to make the Underground beautiful! I can picture it already: Flowers! Glitter! Statues of me!

The project's already started, and I've got as many people working on it as possible. It should be a nice change of pace for them, not at all like the boring old puzzles.

I tried to get Alphys involved, since she's already proven her design skills, but I couldn't reach her. She seemed to take Asgore's death rather hard, and I haven't seen her since.

It's fine. Alphys spent a lot of time in her lab even before the human arrived. She'll grieve a little longer, and then she'll go back to forcing me to watch those ridiculous cartoons.

She'll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pretend the length of this nonsense is only a reflection of the source material and not at all about my inability to write long fics.


	3. Chapter 3

Beautiful diary of mine:

My project's going along nicely. The Underground is already at least 250% more fabulous, and things are only looking up!

But that's not why I'm writing today, because of course I'm making things more glamorous. No, I'm writing to let you know that I've got an agent! In fact, I have two, and I didn't so much find them as they found me.

You see, earlier today I was visited by a delightful skeleton. He introduced himself as Papyrus, and after the inevitable stammered praise that comes with meeting a star he finally got to his point.

He said that his dream was to be a Royal Guardsman, and since he wasn't sure who the Captain was anymore he decided to come straight to me.

That's when it clicked. That time I visited Undyne's house with Alphys, Undyne mentioned giving cooking lessons to a recruit too innocent to ever become a royal guard. Based on the few minutes I'd spent in his company, I had to agree.

Still, it would be a shame to waste that kind of natural charm, and he was a friend of Undyne's. Not that I told him the second part, of course. I just offered him the position as my agent.

As I expected, he seemed excited about the idea. Really, who wouldn't be? But rather than accept immediately, he kept talking.

It turns out that his brother, who had always been lazy, had completely withdrawn after the human left. Papyrus could go days without seeing his brother, even though they lived in the same house, and it was worrying him. He thought that maybe a new job would do him some good.

After a story like that, there was nothing I could do but extend the offer to Papyrus' brother as well. I'm not too concerned. If this brother is half as endearing as Papyrus, he'll make a good agent, and if not I can have him work at my hotel.

I still haven't heard from Alphys. I told the monsters of Hotland to keep an eye out for her. I'm not worried, though. I just need her around in case I need maintenance. She did design this wonderful new body for me.

Really, she should be ashamed of herself. She's the Royal Scientist. She should be here when the King needs her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing feels like a slow motion train wreck, but that's never stopped me before.


	4. Chapter 4

Diary, my dear:

One of the many wonderful things about being King is that I can focus on important things. For instance, I'm finally starting to rebuild my diary collection!

It's a shame that I have to leave the old ones behind, but frankly it's for the best. I've come so far, I don't think I'd even recognize that sad little ghost from before.

Would they recognize me?

... Would Blooky recognize me?

They have to. They called in to my "final" show, after all.

They haven't visited, but they hardly left the farm even when I was there, so that's not a surprise. I'm always in the spotlight, so they know where I am. They can reach me if they want to.

It's probably a good thing that they haven't visited, anyway. I need to put the past behind me, and I can't play favorites among my fans.

Still no word about Alphys. Is it favoritism if you have a reason to be worried?

Not that I am worried. Really, I shouldn't even be paying as much attention to her disappearance as I am. It's unbecoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate not being able to judge my own writing. I can't tell if I dislike this because I dislike all my work, or just because it's bad.  
> Either way, it's your problem now.


	5. Chapter 5

Dearest of diaries:

Until now, I've been trying to keep politics out of my shows. The people need some stability, especially if it comes with fabulous entertainment.

But with the beautification of the Underground almost complete, people deserve to know what comes next. So today, I put on my gorgeous new crown and had a special politics spectacular! I laid out a few basic plans (obtain more glitter, for instance) and then let people call in to ask questions. I hate repeating a gimmick so soon, but it seemed like the best option.

It went pretty well at first. Lots of people giving me the praise I deserve, asking questions about the beautification efforts and my new shows.

Then it went wrong in a way I really should have expected. Namely, someone asked about the human souls. The ones that vanished when Asgore died, taking our hopes of seeing the surface with them.

I broke the news as tactfully as possible, but people were still clearly disappointed. I could have handled that, but then they started getting their hopes up again. They seemed to expect me to take up Asgore's position and collect more souls.

I disabused them of that idea quite firmly. The last human to fall down here should have been proof that it didn't work. We couldn't let a human take a monster soul and escape, but we couldn't keep killing them indiscriminately either. That path just led to misery, though at least it made good TV.

I thought my speech was very moving. The crowd seemed slightly less convinced, so I decided we'd had enough sharing for one day and wrapped everything up.

Still, a star should always keep up with his fans, so I sent my agents out to gauge the people's feelings about our new policy. A lot of them seemed more confused than anything, but I'll take it. That just gives me more time to convince them with my stunning arguments.

Some people were upset, which I suppose is understandable. I'll just have to make the Underground even more beautiful to make up for it.

But then there was this one person. He wasn't content to be upset about the policy change. He just had to bring my shows into it. Apparently he thinks that entertaining "isn't enough preparation to be King". He thinks the job should go to someone with more leadership experience.

How dare he? Does he even know how much effort it takes to coordinate my staff? Just look at these people! I've managed to take the likes of that lazy nobody in the Burger Emporium and make them tolerable employees.

I was so offended that I may have ordered him thrown in a dungeon. Incidentally, did you know New Home had dungeons? I don't think Asgore ever used them, but apparently they exist.

Trivia about New Home aside, I am of course still shocked that one of my own subjects would treat me like this. However, in the interests of setting a good example, I'm going for a walk to clear my head before dealing with him.

I think I'll start in Hotland and work my way to the dump in Waterfall. It seems like a good way to stretch my legs, and the scenery in Waterfall is nice. There's no need to put any more thought into my destination, because I have no ulterior motives. I'm just going for a walk.

No one will question me, anyway. I am the King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end. I'm probably portraying Mettaton a little too sympathetically/not self-absorbed enough, but it's too late now.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear diary:

Sans called the human today. I'm not sure why he decided to do it today, but I simply had to take the opportunity. After all, the human's life must be so hard these days. To have seen my beauty and willingly walked away from it must have crushed them, no matter how determined they are.

I did my best to cheer them up. I told them about how beautiful the Underground is these days, and even told them to think of me posing. Whatever they're doing now, that should at least make things easier for them.

... I also had to break the news to them about Alphys' disappearance. I tried to reassure them by saying I built a statue of her, and it's not like that was a complete lie. I had someone start building one as soon as I got off the phone.

Right now, I have plans for three: one by her lab so people will recognize her accomplishments, one in New Home so people won't forget her, and one in the dump because as disgusting as it is she spent a lot of time there. I hope she recognizes this as the great concession it is. She could have had an actual apology, but she'll just have to make do with this. It serves her right.

Anyway, the human. They're the important one here, after me of course. After I brightened their day, Papyrus wanted to talk, and how could I say no?

I didn't get to hear what Sans talked about, but Papyrus' conversation was impossible to miss. He's a dear, but his lowest setting seems to be yelling, and the human was reason enough to get excited beyond even that.

At first, he said exactly what I would expect. Standard things about how great life is now, how much he enjoys his new job and that glitter improves even the dreariest buildings.

But then he said that the situation for people who don't love me, and I quote, "sucks". Can you believe it?

Okay, sure, so I've imprisoned more people for saying bad things about my show. It's not like it's an official policy or anything. It's just that after my excursion was a failure, I ended up keeping the first guy locked up, and then I couldn't back down or I'd look weak.

To make a long story short, it's a good thing New Home has so many of these mysterious dungeons.

Other than that, though, I think I've been quite fair. Watching my show is only required for half an hour a day, for instance.

I can't stay mad at Papyrus for long. I don't know that I'm even mad, just shocked. If my own agent thinks like that...

No, it's too late to worry about that. I have to keep smiling and showing everyone that I have things under control.

I can do this. I'm the King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And at last, I have finished this abomination. The moral of the story is that I need to do more editing between "Oh, that's a cool idea" and actually posting these things. (For instance, the bit about the statues is probably unnecessary but I put too much thought into it and don't want to get rid of it now.)
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who stuck with this, and tune in next time for something that's hopefully actually decent.


End file.
